Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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