I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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