can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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