my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We have so much sex to catch up on
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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