that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize