Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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