I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
