Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
