'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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