Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
