I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
