You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
