He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
