is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I FOUND THE LEGS
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
