So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize