I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We left an ass print on the piano.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
