I'd wear matching sweaters with you
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
