I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize