So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
