If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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