I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't deserve a penis
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
