We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
