God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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