he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
