the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
