I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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