Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
