yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
