I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
