..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
How's work?
Spinning.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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