Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
