just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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