i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
