So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize