My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
