She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
