My hand turned me down
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
