I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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