Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have fence marks all over my body
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
