a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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