I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
