Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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