dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
