But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
