It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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