It's Friday. Sex?
I wish I only lived at night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
