I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
