Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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