i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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