I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
