bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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