I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize