I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
