Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize