Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
