hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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