i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My dick has a subreddit
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
