YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
