is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
