i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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