yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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