So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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