its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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