go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
